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So, your son or daughter is determined that they are ready for a dog of their own, but how can you be sure? You’ve already learned that the majority of dogs in a shelter come from homes where "it just didn’t work out," and feel that the "trial and error" approach to animals is cruel to the pet and teaches the wrong values to your kids. Dogs are not right for everyone, of course, but there are so many different breeds, there is one for almost any lifestyle that can offer time and love.

Accepting the responsibility of a dog is a big step in the life of children. A dog of their own can improve confidence, teach responsibility and tolerance, and provide years of love and companionship in a very special way. On the down side, too much responsibility can easily become overwhelming for a child, and eventually it’s the parents who have a dog or it goes to the local shelter. The key to success is a combination of finding the right dog at the right time. As a parent, your child may be part of the decision making process, but the final choices of when and what kind should be your own. You will need to evaluate your child, to determine if they are actually ready to make a commitment, and find a dog that will fit into your family’s current lifestyle.

The first step is to talk to your child and get an understanding of how they picture having a dog will change their life. How will they carry out their normal activities with the added responsibility? What will they do with the dog when they wish to go out and play? When they go off to school? Are they (and you) sure that there is time for a dog? How will they feel when their dog is sick or injured? What about fleas? Even though the adults will need provide a certain amount of care, it is important that children have an idea of how much work is involved for everyone, and decide how much they can do on their own. Their responsibilities should be gradually increased with their age, readiness, and abilities. The idea is to support your child in the care of their new pet, while they learn to care for it on their own.

Time:

Take a look at your families current time schedules, including weekend habits. If your child spends a great deal of free time away from home, then a new dog may be quickly forgotten in the back yard. A dog needs companionship. Simply feeding and walking the dog isn’t enough. Your child needs to be prepared to care for a new dog like a new little brother or sister, which can mean hours each and every day to share with his new pet. If you are considering a puppy, the time needed is greatly increased. Many dogs are happy travelers, and enjoy riding in a vehicle, so long as they aren’t left there alone for large amounts of time. All dogs will need time spent outdoors, regardless of the weather, and walked at least once or twice a day. Dogs also do best when fed and walked according to a regular routine. Bringing home a dog or puppy needs to be done when there is an abundance of time available to allow for the changes in lifestyle and for building a relationship with the new pet.

Activities:

What are the regular activities of your household? There may be many occasions for your child to take the new dog with him, rather than leaving the dog home. Children, especially teens, need to realize that most public places, such as malls, aren’t going to allow their new pet. If your child is older and enjoys hanging out with friends, they need to consider these habits, also. Many children don’t realize the amount of time spent away from home, especially during summer months. Including a dog can mean adding new activities to their life, such as playing at a park or joining obedience or show clubs.

Tolerance/Emotions:

All kids have varying emotional levels. The responsibilities of feeding and walking can often be demanding enough, but a dog is going to present a lot of unpredicted circumstances into a child’s life. Besides the fact that a puppy is likely to chew up toys, clothing, baseball mitts, frisbees, etc., etc., nature has devised several other ways for dogs to bring out the worst in people. Dogs get sick. Are you and your child prepared to deal with that sudden bout of diarrhea in the middle of the night? Or vomiting? Or the incredible disaster of strewn trash after leaving the dog alone for a few moments? An overly emotional child may have a great deal of difficulty dealing with many of these situations, and will need to rely on you for emotional support as well as janitorial assistance. Some children feel overly responsible for events that are beyond their control, such as a dog getting sick, and may blame themselves for such problems, even if this seems irrational to adults. These same emotional traumas will enhance your child’s emotional development only if handled well by the parents.

The most important criteria is not your child’s sense of responsibility, but the desire to learn, ability to love, tolerance, and ability to face the unknown and unexpected. As a parent, you will have to "coach" your child in any, or all, of these areas where the child is lacking. Getting a dog is a wonderful way to teach these skills to children. The bond between a dog and a child is a special friendship that can’t be experience in any other way, and it is the parent who must teach the child to develop such a bond. It is the parent who actually teaches the child nurturing and responsibility, and a loving companion is the final reward.

Links:

Kids and Pets, A Rite of Childhood
By Lisa Beamer. The benefits of owning a pet go far beyond just having a fuzzy companion. A pet provides social, emotional, and cognitive rewards which all work to develop the child’s self-esteem.

Kids and Pets, From Parent World Online
Having a pet is good for parents as well as children. Pets teach empathy and caring, and can help to make a child aware of the needs of others.

Teaching children to be Responsible for Their Pet
Dr. Larry advises parents how to make choices regarding getting a pet for children, and presents a realistic view of how much involvement will be required by the adults in the home.